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Well, he'd use about a thousand pages and throw in liberal amounts of "Religion is evil" and "Government is wussy and dumb"...
You raise very important points, Brock. Your Weber Fu is good.
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NEW CHAPTER!
- *WeberCharacter1* does a minor action for one sentence, such as stroking his chin or putting down a pencil.
- *WeberCharacter1* reflects on the action s/he's doing and what scene has been set. If any other characters are present, at least one of them is mentioned.
- Insert two pages of infodump regarding *WeberCharacter1*'s current motivations/state of mind, or upon the general dilemma s/he faces in this scene.
- *WeberCharacter1* begins conversation with *WeberCharacter2*. This proceeds for several lines.
- *WeberCharacter1* muses for a paragraph about the conversation s/he is having with *WeberCharacter2*.
- If *WeberCharacter3* is present, they present new information/perspective to the other two. This new information/perspective is discussed for two pages. Technical / technological details or hurdles may be dwelt on at longer length.
- *WeberBitCharacters* offer occasional interjections as required.
- *WeberCharacter1* makes an important decision, apparently after discussion with their friends/advisers, but it was obvious what needed to happen if you read the first paragraph of the chapter.
- *WeberCharacter1* marvels at the intelligence and perspicacity of the other characters.
- *WeberCharacter1* begins to announce the decision they've just made, but the chapter ends before they can explain it. The last line is often "Here's what we're going to do..."
(Insert seven chapters dealing with at least four other vaguely-related storylines or character sets.)
- *WeberAntagonist* is doing something stupid, but he doesn't know it's stupid since he's never seen it go wrong before. *WeberAntagonist* congratulates himself on his intelligence and perspicacity. If *WeberAntagonist* is a junior officer, he may instead be trying to do something smart, but is ordered to stop being smart by his commanding officer. Like a good minion, *WeberAntagonist* obeys.
- Scene break. A junior member of Team Protagonists gives a command to commence the asskicking.
- Scene break. *WeberAntagonist* continues doing something stupid in the presence of the enemy. If *WeberAntagonist* is a junior officer, his CO continues doing something stupid in the face of the enemy. Said CO survives just long enough to make a bad choice that compounds the difficulties of *WeberAntagonist* when said CO finally is killed.
- Asskicking of the Antagonists completes. If this is the end of the book, the asskicking may require several (6+) chapters, during which time the Protagonists unleash their new super-secret weapon, to the horrified dismay of *WeberAntagonist*. Also, if this is the end of the book, a beloved character may die in vaguely heroic circumstances.
- Scene break. *WeberCharacter1* reflects on the success of his/her plan, but castigates him/herself for the necessity of causing so much death and destruction. *WeberCharacter2* sagely advises *WeberCharacter1* that it was the only way, and that their choices were the lesser of two evils. *WeberCharacter1* feels humbled but reassured.
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- *WeberCharacter1* does a minor action for one sentence, such as stroking his chin or putting down a pencil.
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If any other characters are present, at least one of them is mentioned.
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The last line is often "Here's what we're going to do..."
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Also, if this is the end of the book, a beloved character may die in vaguely heroic circumstances.
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