WesWorld

GW Type 110 Transport plane, 9000 feet above the Kyushu landscape, May 4, 1938

"Welcome to your first real jump, Trainees!" Colonel Kimi Kilgore shouted at the new recruits. "When Kimi says so, you jump out one by one! And don't forget the correct procedure. Step One: you jump out. Step Two: You pull the string. Step Three: You float down. Step Four: you hit the gound. Make sure that don't soil your pants on the way down and that you are in one piece after step four, otherwise Kimi's going to break all the remaining bones in your body that aren't broken!"

The 10 recruits were staring terrified at their new commander and nodded.

"And for God's sake, don't forget Step Two."

"M...ma'am..." One recruit held up his hand. "W...what if the parachute does not open?"

Kimi shrugged "Nothing really changes except for step three when you start screaming for your mommy. Make sure you keep on screaming so Kimi has some idea where you hit the ground."

"You're going to jump as well, Ma'am?" another recruit asked.

"Of course. If Kimi can do it, so can you. Kimi is smart though and will jump last. Kimi does not want failing trainees to crash into her."

There was a signal from the cockpit and Kimi nodded to the captain near the door who proceeded to open the aft door of the plane. The trainees hesitated to move toward the open door.

"Get your butts out there, maggots, or I will kick you out of the plane personally!" Kimi shouted furiously.

Remembering the very first lesson which stated that they should run for their lives whenever Kimi started to refer to herself as 'I', the horrified recruits raced to the door and quickly began to jump out one after another. Parachute after parachute deployed without any problems. Once the last one is out, Kimi checked to make sure everyone was smart enough to remember to pull the string and got ready herself to jump.

"Colonel, I doubt that old man Satake is going to like it that you are going to end up in his fields again," the Captain said.

Kimi said nothing and just grinned before she jumped out of the plane herself.



May 5, 1938
Trainee report of yesterday's jump by Colonel Kimberly 'Kimi' Kilgore.

Casualty rate: 100%
Three suffering from the effects of an encounter with an angry, pitchfork-wielding old farmer.
One suffering from the effects of an encounter with a bull.
One suffering from the effects of an encounter with manure.
Two suffering from the effects of an encounter with barbed wire.
One suffering from the effects of an encounter with a fence post.
One suffering from the effects of an encounter with trains.
One suffering from the effects of an encounter with commanding officer's surf board.

Details:
Trainees 1, 7 and 10 managed to crash into Old Man Satake's house. Trainee 7 thought he was quite lucky when he crashed into the bed of Satake's daughter but he was the one who suffered most in the encounter with Satake.
Trainee 4 crashed into the bull of Old Man satake. The bull appeared quite unhappy about it so Trainee 4 will have a hard time sitting down the coming few weeks. Considering his jumping number, he should have been dead so he's probably the luckiest of the 10 trainees.
Trainee 6 managed to end up in a big pile of manure on Old Man Satake's land. He won't be able to get rid of the smell for weeks.
Trainees 2 and 8 ended up in the barbed wire fence around Old Man Satake's lands while Trainee 5 was unfortunate enough to break the family jewels when he hit one of the fence posts. Unsure whether the damage to and soprano voice of Trainee 5 are permanent.
Trainee 9 crashed into the rocky face just above the entrance of a train tunnel and got stuck hanging just below the top of the entrance. Numerous trains have passed, barely missing him before he could be pulled out of his precarious predicament.
Arrogant Trainee 3 was stupid enough to gloat about the fact that he was unharmed and tried to sexually harrass Kimi. Kimi taught him a lesson by pounding him into the ground with Kimi's favorite surf board.

Hilarious!

Quoted

Originally posted by Rooijen10
Trainee 6 managed to end up in a big pile of manure on Old Man Satake's land. He won't be able to get rid of the smell for weeks.

Something similar happened in Ireland two years ago.

Quoted

October 4
A Tiger Moth biplane belonging to the Irish Air Corps crashed in a sheep field today while on a training flight out of Baldonnel. The lone pilot was thrown clear when the plane came down, landing without physical injury in the back of a wagon filled with manure. Damage to the plane was deemed moderate, and after removing the wings the Tiger Moth was transported back to Baldonnel by lorry. When asked later about the incident, the pilot remarked "My squadron won't let me live it down. That was the most $#!ty landing I've ever done."

Just shows you that there are some people with really bad luck. The trainee jumper will probably have to deal with "Smell you later" for quite a while.

So are any one of those two related to this guy:

Quoted

Originally posted by Rooijen10
"And for God's sake, don't forget Step Two."

Step One:
Collect underpants
Step Two:
???
Step Three:
Profit

No one remember "Step Two"

Quoted

So are any one of those two related to this guy

Considering that the McFly's originate from Ireland, it is most likely that the Irish pilot is probably the unlucky guy to be related to him.

(Recycling something I created a while back...)

Voiceover: "Welcome to this year’s 'Our Great Navy', the Japanese edition. And as ever it is presented by the Three Katos. Let’s welcome the first one, our host, the former Minister of Navy and Prime minister, Admiral Kato Tomosaburo-sama!!!"

Crowd: *Applause*

Voiceover: "As usual, accompanied by his loyal aides Kato-san and Kato-san!!!!"

Crowd: *Applause*

Admiral Kato: "Thank you everyone. It is a great honor to be back and host the 1938 event. The fact that I died in real history 15 years ago does not stop me from keeping on going here. As usual the are a variety of categories in which a ship can become a winner. Whenever displacements are mentioned, we are referring to the ship’s normal displacement."

Kato (Green Hornet): "There are various categories and each category has several contenders. The winner will be decided based on the statistics available to us."

Kato (Pink Panther): "Awards are given in the following categories: Greatest ship of the Navy category, Largest warship category, Fastest warship category, Greatest range at 15kts category, Most powerful ship category, Most economic ship at 15kts category, Largest Carrier category, Largest Cruiser category, Largest destroyer category, Most extras category, Most ridiculous extras category, Most unusual color scheme category, Most famous member of the Navy category and Most annoying member of the Navy category."

Admiral Kato: "Well, shall we start with the first category? Kato-san!"

Kato (GH): "Ah yes. The Most Unusual Color Scheme Award. As usual, there were a great many contenders for this category. The first contender is the Kameko-chan with it’s unusual use of paint, mixing red and white paint... and then there are the other 1795 vessels of the Imperial Navy who use the usual dull and always boring gray paint scheme... like every year."

Admiral Kato: "Very good Kato-san. Thank you."

Kameko-chan captain (to his officers): "Shit! We're going to win again! Like every year! Let’s get out of here quickly!" *quickly leaves the hall*

Admiral Kato: "... And the winner is..." *opens envelope* "What a surprise. It's not the Kameko-chan, but the Atatake's special paint scheme from five months ago after that big Jigoku no Tenshi party in Yokosuka!"

Crowd: *Applause*

Former Empress Kameko: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! That can't be! I always win this category!!" T_T

Admiral Kato: "Captain! Come forward!"

Atatake captain: *accepts award* "Geez... well... I don't know what to say except for this. Manzo! If I ever get my hands on you or your biker buddies, you will all walk the plank! Thank you!"

Crowd: *Applause*

Admiral Kato: "Kato-san, the next category, please."

Kato (PP): "Ah yes. It's one of our favorites: The Most Extras Award. As usual, not many contenders for this category. The first contender is the Kameko-chan with all the extras for the former Empress. The second contender is the Go-ni class, special coastal troop-carrying vessel with many extras for the brave troops aboard. Finally we have The Flightdeck Casino with many extras for the customers and not so many for the brave trainee naval pilots."

Admiral Kato: "Yes, and unfortunately the jury has indicated that since the extras of The Flightdeck Casino are privately owned, we have to disqualify The Flightdeck Casino from the award ceremony."

Flightdeck Casino crew: "Booo! Booo!" *start throwing rotten fruit and eggs*

Admiral Kato: *egg on face* "Thank you." *whipes egg away* "And the winner is..." *opens envelope* "... The Kameko-chan!!!"

Crowd: *Applause*

Admiral Kato: "Always a popular ship, despite the dubious color. The captain is never here when he wins something so... Your highness! Come forward!"

Former Empress Kameko: *appears out of nowhere* ^_^ "Yay! Mine!" *snatches award* "It is a great honor to receive this award. I’d like to thank my family and friends and the ship’s crew and the designers without whom, this would not have been possible. Thank you!" *goes back to seat*

Crowd: *Applause*

Admiral Kato: "The famous standard speech of our former empress. Always manages to wow the public. Now, on to the next category, Kato-san."

Kato (GH): "The Most Ridiculous Extras Award. We know from the past that there are not many contenders in this category either. The first contender is the Kameko-chan... with the 12 inch armored swimming pool, the 17 inch armored... well, the winner is no doubt the Kameko-chan, isn't it?"

Admiral Kato: *tosses aside envelope* "Yes, especially since "The Flightdeck Casino" is no longer a valid contender for any of these Naval Award."

Crowd: *Applause*

Admiral Kato: "Always a very popular ship, despite the embarrassing color."

Former Empress Kameko: *appears out of nowhere* ^_^ "Yay! Another award for me." *snatches award* "It is a great honor to receive this second award. I’d like to thank my family and friends and the ship’s crew and the designers without whom, this would not have been possible. Thank you!" *goes back to seat*

Crowd: *Applause*

Kato (PP): "Next up is the Most Annoying Member Of The Navy Award."

Admiral Kato: "Hmmm... Interesting. Too bad the former empress is not a contender for this category."

Former Empress Kameko: "What did you say?!?"

Admiral Kato: "Nothing, Your Highness. So who are the UNlucky people for this award, kato-san?"

Kato (GH): "The UNlucky contenders are..." *frowns* "Admiral William 'Buck' Frobisher, Canada's Minister of the Navy?"

Admiral Kato: "Canada!?"

Kato (GH): "... and he's the only one on the list."

Admiral Kato: "How is that possible. Surely there are more annoying people in our Navy."

Frobisher: *appearing out of nowhere* "There obviously aren't and don't call me Shirley." *grabs award* "I am grateful for receiving this award as it shows that I am doing my job properly as a Canadian naval officer and government official. Thank you." *leaves*

Crowd: *Applause*

Kato (GH): "And now for the esteemed Most Famous Member Of The Navy Award... and there is just one..." *pauses* "Admiral William 'Buck' Frobisher, Canada's Minister of the Navy?"

Admiral Kato: "Again?!? Surely there are more famous people in our Navy."

Frobisher: *appearing out of nowhere* "Apparently there aren't and don't call me Shirley." *grabs award* "I am grateful for receiving this award as well as it shows that I am doing my job properly as a proud Canadian citizen. Thank you." *leaves*

Crowd: *Applause*

Admiral Kato: "Ah well... let's skip the other boring categories and go straight for the final one. The important one."

Kato (PP): "Very good, boss. The following category is the Greatest Ship Of The Navy” category. The selection has been narrowed down to the next ships: The Fuso, the Nagato, the Zuiho and the Tachibana."

Admiral Kato: "No doubt the jury has been bribed again, just like all other times..."

Kato (GH): "Yes, it's going to be the Kameko-chan again, right?"

Admiral Kato: "Right..." *opens envelope* "NO! Wrong! It isn't!"

Former Empress Kameko: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! That can't be! I always win this category!!" T_T

Admiral Kato: "It's Colonel Kimberly Kilgore's surf board!"

*silence*

Admiral Kato: "Eventhough she is a member of the Army, the surf board is registered as a vessel of the Imperial Japanese Navy."

*silence*

Admiral Kato: "The colonel is not here so we shall mail the award to her. And that's it for this year. Hopefully next time it will be a normal one."

"The boys introduced me to a real eye-opener the other night. Moose hock rolled in wild boar tongue covered with Gorgonzola cheese."
"I'd like to try that sometime."
"Don't be too hasty. It seems to follow you around for a while."

Edo Japan. July 7, 1938. From a reporter at the scene..

A virus has been infecting citizens in parts of Edo, turning them all into old men. It is easily recognizable by the victim's almost zombie-like behavior and thick unibrow. Experts say that the virus spreads through skin-to-skin contact and is considered to be very contageous. Right now, Shinsengumi and other government officials as well as medical personnel have quarantined the various city blocks where this virus has been spotted.

Should you happen to encounter any of these Zombrows, you should run away as fast as you can. If you encounter a large group...
*looks around*

... it'll be too late to escape from the mob of Zombrows as they will most likely have surrounded you at this... GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

*turns into Zombrow*

(screenshot and Zombrows from Gintama)

September 11, 1938

Today the new Nakajima L5N1 passenger plane was taken into service by Japan Airlines (*). The plane makes use of a pressurized cabin which allows the plane to fly higher without causing discomfort for the passengers and crew or endanger their lives.

Test flights using the SGP (Standard Guinea Pig) showed that SGP Colonel Oonishi Manzo started to show signs of hypoxia, altitude sickness, decompression sickness and barotrauma. Unfortunately for the world, he recovered completely after his return to Earth. Electrical compressors on the L5N1 will prevent this. They will pump air into aircraft cabin in order to maintain a safe and comfortable environment for crew and passengers.

Besides Japan Airlines, EURASIA has also shown interest in the Nakajima L5N1 as well as the smaller Nakajima L2N1.


Japan Airlines Nakajima L2N1 (= DC-3)


Japan Airlines Nakajima L5N1 (= Heavily modified DC-3 pic)

(*) the Imperial Japanese Airways's official international name (here in Wesworld), used in order to avoid abbreviation confusion with the Imperial Japanese Army (IJA).

Quoted

Originally posted by Rooijen10
Test flights using the SGP (Standard Guinea Pig) showed that SGP Colonel Oonishi Manzo started to show signs of hypoxia, altitude sickness, decompression sickness and barotrauma. Unfortunately for the world, he recovered completely after his return to Earth.

Hehehe

That was my first thought.
Then I read the name

Manzo the reusable Kamikaze. That man will paint sunken carriers silhouette on his Ohka.

If we were to go that way, he would bankrupt Japan because of the sheer number of Ohkas that needs to build for him alone.