HAA!
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England... it only took the Americans three hours to get home."
Yes, we Americans can be quite devious about such things, dontcha know...
"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
Now now, better not compare brain cell count or they'll feel even more inadequate...
But, from a retail point of view, these are the level of stupid that I get on a weekly basis.
Unfortunately, such people are everywhere. One time, thankfully long ago, I had to work a cashier at EvilMart. One guy was horsing around while his friend was in line, and he walked up behind me, stuck a finger into my back and says "Ha, it's a stick up!" I just looked at him and raised an eyebrow and he wandered off while his buddy apologized.
Fortunately I knew he was just screwing around; if he'd been serious, I'm not the kind of guy you want to be pulling that on.
...there really truly are some very "special" people out there...