I'm tired of all these 'international kisses'
Turko-Greek Treaty of Mutual Hatred
April 1, 1930.
Preamble
The Governments of the Greece and Turkey desirous of strengthening the loathing and animosity between them and exploiting the tensions and mutual hatred between them, agree to the following:
Article I.
The High Contracting Parties obligate themselves to pursue any act of violence, any aggressive action, and any attack on each other - including raspberry blowing, either individually or jointly with other Powers.
Article II.
Should Greece, or Turkey become the object of belligerent action by a third Power, the other High Contracting Party shall eagerly wait in the sidelines for a chance to kick the other when they are down.
Article III.
The high contracting parties, having regard to the interests of security of each of them, agree to snarl and spit at each other at every opportunity.
They will bare our buttocks at the League of Nations in these objects and we will make faces at each other in accordance with the two principles of seeking territorial aggrandisement for themselves and of interference in the internal affairs of other States.
Article IV.
There will be no Article between III and V as it is unlucky.
Article V.
The present Treaty is concluded for a period of ten years, with the proviso that, in so far as one of the High Contracting Parties does not advance it one year prior to the expiration of this period, the validity of this Treaty shall automatically be extended for another five years. See Annex I.
Article VI.
The present treaty shall be ratified within the shortest possible time. The ratification’s shall be exchanged in Constantinople/Istanbul depending on where you come from. The Agreement shall enter into force as soon as the Instruments of Ratification have been exchanged.
Done on the back of a napkin, in the Greek and Turkish languages, each text being just a bunch of squiggles.
Annex I.
Turkey agrees not to enter the Eurovision song contest for the duration of this Treaty.