WesWorld

Is Russian Foreign Ministry covering up for foreign spies?? It sure looks like it, from example of Filipino Air Attache, Colonel Juan Rodriguez, who was allowed to leave our country just because he has a paper that says "Diplomatic Immunity"! Our sources have penetrated secret of Señor de Varga's disappointed look after his conversation with Akademician Tupelov last month. Honorable Foreign Minister was trying to persuade one of our great pioneers of Russian aviation to leave Russia and set up aviation industry in Phillippines! Of course Akademician Tupelov refused, in no uncertain terms. Nevertheless, our Filipinos are a determined lot, if not particularly familiar with inner workings of mysterious Russian Soul. Colonel Rodriguez took advantage of his official business at Zhukovsky Field to offer Akademician Tupelov a bribe of two million American dollars to come to Philippines. Akademician Tupelov, whose conduct in this case was impeccable throughout, immediately notified relevant authorities. As a last resort, Colonel Rodriguez had thought to tempt Akademician Tupelov with actual briefcase full of currency. It has of course been confiscated as evidence. So here we have a case of espionage and attempted bribery, and, who knows, possibly kidnapping (we know F.I.N.K. is capable of attempting anything...), directed against august personage of a pioneer of Russian aviation, and does Russian Foreign Ministry care? They let perpetrator of this outrage board a steamship, while concealing magnitude of threats facing Russia! Our source tells us that some diplomats, due to their long service in foreign countries, sometimes forget defense of Russia as they smoooth over relations with foreign countries, some of which, it is obvious from this case, seek to advance themselves by nefarious means at Russia's expense. President Chernov had better be ready with his biggest broom, to sweep out complacency, or worse, from Russian Foreign Ministry!

Bryansk Babbler - 10 April 1926

It truly is outrageous, what foreign spies get up to in their attempts to harm our Motherland! What does President Chernov and State Duma intend to do about such things??

Radio columnist Rashdislav Lumbaghovich Gasbagarov - 11 April 1926

Have Socialists, and worse, Liberals, no shame? To allow spies to operate in Russia, and then go unpunished, because of some foreign, un-Russian notion of "diplomatic immunity"? Are they trying to cover something up? Are they in fact, complicit in this Filipino spying? Patriotic sources within our government, trying to resist Liberal Socialist rot from within, told my researchers that the Filipino government has a secret poison gas warfare capability, and have covertly developed, in violation of Cleito Treaty, and deployed near Petrograd, Odessa, Sevastopol, Batum, and Vladivostok, Battle Submersibles mounting 46cm guns in three sextuple turrets that they could use to fire poison gas shells at Russia within 45 seconds!! And no doubt they are interested in acquiring Akademician Tupelov's aircraft design expertise in order to be able to add poison gas bombing to their nefarious plans!!!!

Petrograd Post - 12 April 1926

Russian Federation government categorically rejects as baseless and utterly without foundation any claim that Filipino government threatens Russian Federation with poison gas attacks, or that Russian intelligence services have information suggesting that Filipino government have developed, let alone, acquired in number, anything so absurd as "Battle Submersible" mounting 18 46cm guns.

Excerpt of interview with V.I. Lenin, State Duma member and Leader of Russian Social Democratic Worker's Party, Bolshevik - Pravda, 14 April 1926

Pravda - Comrade Lenin, what are your thoughts on recent departure of Filipino Air Attache Colonel Rodriguez?

Comrade Lenin - It certainly has created quite a stir, hasn't it? (mild laugh)

Pravda - Indeed it has...

Comrade Lenin - Personally, I fail to see need for all this fuss. I understand from news reports that last fall El Presidente in Manila jumped up to palace cieling in fury, where he remains to this day, when he learned that his country has no aircraft designers. Obviously, his Foreign Minister was... strongly encouraged... to remedy that situation during his visit to Russia. You can hardly blame Filipino government for trying to acquire world's best aircraft designer, so in a way, their efforts are sort of a compliment. Akademician Tupelov, whom I know well as a brilliant designer and patriotic Russian, refused all offers, so again, why all this fuss? I must confess, it is a mystery to me.


Radio columnist Rashdislav Lumbaghovich Gasbagarov - 15 April 1926

Now we see Liberals and Socialists exposed as disloyal and un-Russian. "Comrade" Lenin laughs at dire threat of Filipino bribery and spying, while government mouthpiece Petrograd Post denies threat of Filipino Battle Submersibles!! Can you believe it? How long must Russia be governed by these blind, traitorous fools? My good friend and fellow radio enthusiast Ranodl Rageanov told me "Vladivostok is not very far. They could land and suprise us from there. With their troops in a rather fast car, they'd be on us before we're aware. And the Filipino Army is just two days' sailing time from Harligan, Russia! Supported by poison gas shells from their Battle Submersibles, we would be powerless to resist them!!" Considering his insight in military matters, and determination to defend Russia from imminent Filipino attack, I say - Impeach Chernov - Rageanov for President!!"

Speech by Ranodl Rageonov - 25 April 1926

My fellow Russians, thank you for sharing your time with me tonight.

To day I announce beginning of effort to impeach President Chernov, for his failure to recognize threat of Filipino espionage, subversion, and military threat, and his failure to reduce burden of taxes under which Russia has groaned since 1917.

For 20 years, Phillipines has been accumulating enormous military might. They didn't stop when their forces exceeded all requirements of a legitimate defensive capability. And they haven't stopped now. During the past decade and a half, the Phillipines have built up a massive arsenal of new poison gas weapons -- weapons that can strike directly at Russia from their Battle Submersibles.

Tonight, consistent with our obligations under Cleito treaty and recognizing need for closer consultation with our allies, I'm taking an important first step. I am advocating comprehensive and intensive effort to define a long-term research and development program to begin to achieve our ultimate goal of eliminating the threat posed by Battle Submersibles. This could pave the way for arms control measures to eliminate the weapons themselves. We seek neither military superiority nor political advantage. Our only purpose -- one all people share -- is to search for ways to reduce the danger of poison gas war. Once we have purged Russian government of Socialists and Liberals, our way will be clear to build up military forces Socialists and Liberals have neglected, while cutting taxes by a third. These measures will allow Russia to defend herself against all who would attack her, and solve budget deficit.

Thank you, good night, and God bless you."

Oy Vey!

*lol*

Very nice! "Battle submersibles" with nine 46cm guns - where can I buy some? :o)

Very interesting, and perhaps vaguely alarming.

Quoted

Very interesting, and perhaps vaguely alarming.

Perhaps it is alarming because our ally has been very naughty. :-)

I wonder what would happen if one or two of the SATSUMA partners resign from SATSUMA due to Filipinos being a little bit too agressive... ;o)

I´m not sure if India for examply is that happy with recent activities. Doc?

Quoted

Perhaps it is alarming because our ally has been very naughty. :-)

If you mean "has failed to share plans for 3x6 46 cm battle submersibles and poison gas recipes with his", then yes, he has.

If you mean, "spectacularly failed in blatant attempts to bribe senior officials in foreign lands", then yes, that too.

But actually, I was referring to the slim possibility that Gasbagarov (lovely name, incidently) and Rageonov will influence Russian diplomacy.

Quoted

I´m not sure if India for examply is that happy with recent activities. Doc?

India will undoubtedly be monitoring the situation and consulting with its allies.

The Manila Evening Times
11 April 1926

It is reported that the Russian Air Attache, a Señor Alexeev, has been granted 48 hours to leave the Philippines.

An anynomous source within the Fuerza Aerea Filipinas said "This really isn't a result of any indiscretion on the part of Señor Alexeev, more of a tit-for-tat kind of thing - you kick out our Air Attache, we'll kick out yours."

The source also stated that "While we do not confirm or deny any bribery directed torwards Señor Tupolev, if it were true it would be very dissapointing that the Russians would allow it to leak. It's getting to where you just can't do cloak-and-dagger work anymore..."

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The Manila Times
15 April 1926

The Filipino Government denies all claims of "battle submersibles" that certian Russian news outlets have made in the past few weeks.

"People need to check facts," said Commander de la Croix, head of the Marina de Filipinas Design Bureau. "The Philippines has no ability to design such vessels. We know that the British are putting 4 120mm guns on a class of submarines, and there are rumours that the French have design studies which place a twin eight-inch on a sub, but eighteen 460mm guns?! Sacre bleu! Impossible, even for the Americans!"

Commodore Garcia stated that "claims we have 'build up enormous military might' are ridiculous. We joined the Cleito Treaty specifically so that we wouldn't be seen in such a light. The Russians can check our ships' tonnage against our Treaty limits, and see that we are nowhere near such limits, never mind in flagrant violation!"

Almirante de la Vega summed up the claims of the Russian press thus: "Loco in the coco".


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I would post more, but breakfast calls. :-)

Quoted

The Russians can check our ships' tonnage against our Treaty limits, and see that we are nowhere near such limits, never mind in flagrant violation!"

How do they know that the SSB(?) do not exist? They could jjust be at sea. Plans for such battle submersibles are indeed possible, as the Italians designed one in WWI with 4x15" guns.

The Manila Envelope
27 April 1926

Russians! Paranoids! Russians = Paranoids!

Does anyone really believe that our Filipinas has in its possession these "Tillman Submarines" that these Crazy Ivans claim we do? Really!

Of course, they do sound like something Japan would come up with...

While the Filipino submarine force (one boat! one measley little 700-ton boat!) is no threat to the Bear, the Bear does present us with a Clear and Present Danger - with his Crocodiles!

The Russians have been laying down FLEETS of "Krokodil" amphibous assault craft at Vladivostock! What possible defensive purpose can these craft serve? None!

They can be for only one purpose. "China Today, and Tomorrow the World!" No doubt there are Russian Marines exercising right now, to shouts of "Remember Port Arthur!" Our allies in Japan and Chosen should prepare to counter this dire threat!

(etc., etc., etc... )

Statement of El Presidente, Enrique Monastario
Manila Radio Network
31 April 1926

"...I must say I nearly had a heart attack the other week. Comrade Lenin and I actually agree on something!

"I do not understand where or how these allegations of gas-launching, 100,000 ton submarines came from. How exactly do these people think we would be able to pay for such monstrostities? And they would take ten years to build...

"...this further proves my point: Russia is a political house of cards, ready to collapse. But not all Russians are as crazy as Comrade Gasbagarov and his ilk. Quite the contrary.

"I repeat my offer to any and all Russians: A better life and a stable government await you in Las Filipinas!"

The Italian government agrees with the Russian Federation in regards to the dire threat that the Philipines poses in the far-east. They have already armed themselves with Balabac an assault ship courtesy of the the Japanese fiends. Now our agents have uncovered details of more assault ships; the Itbayat and Pangutaran Classes. The Russian Federation is right to feel threatened in such a situation and should take immediate action to rectify the problem, perhaps by sending its Black Sea fleet east.

Quoted

Of course, they do sound like something Japan would come up with...

We already have them... but don't tell anyone. :-)

Quoted

They have already armed themselves with Balabac an assault ship courtesy of the the Japanese fiends.

Shouldn't that be "Friends"? :-)

While the Chilean Government would believe the Russian statements of massive Filipino buildup to be an untrue, we have noted a distinct imperialist trend in the Filipino speeches. An now they counter claim unclaimed islands that have been near them for centuries, and arming our northern neighbor Peru with a modern battleship? If the Peruvians wanted a battleship, they could have asked the Americans, or us. We'd give them the Capitan Prat as soon as we have a replacement built. We might even sell them a Pre-dreadnought if the price were right.

As for Battle Submarines? How? We have six submarines in our fleet, all American built...there is just no way the Filipinos are building Battle Subs and Battleships for foreign nations with their infrustructure. If they were, they could be blamed for the Pirate Cruiser as well.

Imperialist? Moi? Surley you jest! (And don't call me Shirley!)

Quoted

arming our northern neighbor Peru with a modern battleship

*ahem* That's a third class battleship (official MdF rating of Dagupan-class CDBB); and Prat would require them to pay for a refit, in addition to the ship.

As for why we're selling a CDBB to Peru? It's a gesture to Chile...the old Three Stooges gesture...or Three Stooges chess move? "En Eyepoke" ^_^

(Ignore date above. It's 2 May 1926)

Friends, International Liberal Socialist conspiracy is growing, and there is no part of the world where its malignant tentacles do not extend. Now we hear that Presidente of Phillippines, Enrique Monastario calls Lenin, leader of most radical of Russian Socialist parties, his Comrade, and announces his agreement with Lenin! Oh, truly, world has reached a dire state as country after country falls into clutches of International Liberal Socialist conspiracy which, with connivance of Russian government, threatens Russia with gas, fire, and sword!

There is only one remedy - Impeach Chernov! Rageonov for President!

Diplomatic Note from the Republic of the Philippines to the Russian Federation, 4 May 1926

The Government of the Philippines was at first amused by the absurd commentary of Comrade Gasbagarov, but his most recent comments approach the level of libel. The Filipino Government hereby requests that the Russian Government inform Comrade Gasbagarov to cease and desist with his name-calling and baseless alarmist claims.

Licenciado Piña
Vice-Presidente
Republic of the Philippines


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Public Statement
4 May 1926

"The Government of the Philippines has not, does not, and will not support Parties of the Left in our country or others, except in cases where there is the most extreme need, such as in Germany.

However we do not feel the need to be disrespectful to them, especially when they speak the truth. Our comments regarding Señor Lenin were made in this light.

The Government of the Philippines expects Comrade Gasbagarov to make an official apology for his inflammatory statements."

At present, by Russian Federation law, few legal means exist to compel a political commentator to apologize for writings or views broadcast by radio. One of them is legal action for libel, which Filipino diplomatic note appears to regard as doubtful in its applicability to this case. A further complication for this course of action is Presidente Monastario's position as Statesman and public figure, for which Russian law provides wider degree of tolerance for insult than would be allowed in case of private persons. Due to these considerations, it is likely that legal action for libel would not have successful outcome.

Private note to Presidente Monastario, from President Chernov:

Your Excellency,

I too have been subjected in past to Gasbagarov's excesses in rhetoric, as has my family. On one of his programs, after referring my pet canary as "Presidential Bird Sweetie", he referred to my 13-year-old granddaughter as "Presidential Dog Evdokia". Such is depth of provocation to which Gasbagarov and his ilk will sink. They allow no ethical consideration to impede their vicious rhetorical attacks.

And I regret to say that Filipino response to his provocation will provide him yet more material to twist to his nefarious purposes.

You will however be heartened to know that legislation will soon be introduced in State Duma, titled "Fatherland Defender Act", one of whose elements will provide for legal consequences for communications which unnecessarily inflame diplomatic relations between Russian Federation and other countries.

President Chernov

"Most recent investigation into state of public opinion clearly shows that various charges by radio commentator Gasbagarov have had significant effect on public opinion in Russian Federation. As indicated by various measures, such as editorial positions of provincial and local newspapers, and sampling of letters by readers, a clear majority of Russians regard Gasbagarov's comments as reckless and without foundation. However, there appears to exist significant number of people, somewhat less than 20% of Russia's adult population, who give some degree of credence to his charges. These tend to be from rural areas, and have low rates of participation in political activity, with only about 4% of this group claiming to have voted in most recent presidential election. It appears however, that declared candidacy of Rageonov and commentary of Gasbagarov, have given this group a focus for political efforts and motivation to begin participating in Russia's political processes."